So by this time of the year, the end of January where your resolutions have had time to be tested. Yesterday, I ran into a lady from my gym who said she hadn’t been in a couple of weeks because work has been too busy for her. That’s the thing about our goals, they are quickly interrupted by our LIVES.
Not to mention that most of the time, what we want to build/shift/create, often takes a lot more time that we initially anticipated. One of my clients told me right before NYE that she was going to have her three-bedroom house tidied in a week! Which would be a considerable feat especially when you consider that Marie Kondo (professional organizer) suggests a real tidying of a home around that size will last roughly six months. To my knowledge, she’s not quite there yet and I know that frustrates her.
Release is part of recovery
It is frustrating when we don’t meet our goals quickly and easily. That said, if it were easy to change, you wouldn’t have needed to set this goal to begin with. Real and lasting change takes effort and time. It is normal to notice a little back slide. The thing that will set you apart is not giving up when you back slide. Acknowledge that you did, forgive yourself and try again.
The Golden Rule of Habit Change
In his book, “The Power of Habit” Duhigg talks about the Golden Rule of Habit change. In it, he describes how research has shown that starting new habits is difficult and breaking old ones is even more difficult but altering current habits is doable.
I actually really love the second graphic because it addresses something we have all done, reached for food out of habit. For some of us the reward is comfort, for some it is to keep our hands busy – the truth is it doesn’t really matter why you’re eating or what your reward is. You don’t have to stop eating to make a shift, you only have to eat something different!
Another key to the graphics above, the less you need to think about it – the easier it will be and the more you have shifted your habit. When you are working on making a shift in the routine, you may find that the first thing doesn’t get it done and you have to pick something else. Fine, it may even be good to try a few different things before you commit. For example, maybe you try three gyms before you join one. If you feel confident in the choice you made, it will help to reinforce itself.
As always, I’m here. If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!