Abusers abuse for power. I’m sorry if you feel like that is an oversimplification but power is the ultimate reason. Some abusers were raised getting hit, some were raised in a culture where violence is normal, others just get violent in frustration. But
There are plenty of myths about most things. Some we find on the internet, some we learn from our friends and families. Often myths are harmless but other times, as in the case of domestic violence, they can be dangerous.