Anxiety, much like anger, can take different forms and appear differently in different situations.  For some anxiety looks likes like agitation with fidgeting and pacing but for others it can look more like they are withdrawn or checked out of things.  For so many people who thought that life would have returned to what they once felt was reliable and predictable a long time ago, their anxiety continues to build as COVID drags on and the delays around vaccines (not to mention stress around the economy and politics) wear on and on and on….

First, it’s not just you

Everyone has been impacted.  While introverts may appreciate more time at home, being trapped with their family when they are used to at least a little bit of separation is difficult.  Introverts that are alone all the time are also feeling the pinch and strain of isolation.  And extroverts are in hell!  Extraverts who thrive off of the energy of others are climbing walls and hating just about everything about social distancing.  It is easy to feel isolated and alone. A real irony is that everyone is struggling with it right alongside you.

Virtual connections are different

That’s very true.  When people physically occupy the same space, they can read each other’s body language and nonverbal cues with a lot more ease, it is harder to be distracted with devices when there is the option of leaving them in another room and interactions can be more organic.  Yes… AND virtual connectivity offers freed of geography.  You can see and hear a loved one who lives in another state without the hassle and strain of travel.  Letting go of what is lost or missing can make it a lot easier to see what is and find more opportunity.  

Do you remember?

In the before times (that’s how I reference pre-COVID days), people were just as hard to get in touch with and schedule things with.  It is easy to forget that we were all just as over-scheduled.  Big difference now, most people don’t have to commute as much.  

What's your numb of choice?

Many people are overwhelmed and stressed and are seeking ways to stay numb.  Drug and alcohol use is way up.  But so is junk food and TV/streaming consumption.  Devices can be about staying numb just as much as staying buzzed.  Many people keep noise in their ears to avoid the noise in their heads.  That is totally understandable.  Also, the internet, Netflix, podcasts, etc. will not actually make anyone else anxious.  To reduce anxiety, shutting devices off for even just a few minutes a day allows the brain to work through and digest some things.  That may be uncomfortable, but it is far more healthy in the long run.  

Turn. Off. The. News.

Staying informed feels really important to a lot of people, especially right now.  Cool.  Turn off the TV.  Pick 1-2 trusted sources online, set an amount of time in advance and READ what they have to say, then stop.  

When there are things in your world and community that you are passionate about, get involved.  Watching the news is often more paralyzing than inspiring and it is one-sided, no one hears your voice.  Sign a petition, donate, often there are ways to volunteer virtually or socially distanced.  Doing something will help you feel connected and empowered.  Watching the news will only help to suck the life out of you.  

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!

Not at all unlike the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), during quarantine and other COVID limits and separations, a lot of people are getting pissed!  Angry about having to wear a mask, angry that other people aren’t wearing their masks.  Irritated at delays and shortages on needed items.  Pulling your hair out about ever changing work policies.  Feeling threatened when people potentially expose you or your family.  Actually having to deal with a positive diagnosis for yourself or a loved one.  ALL of that on top of life’s normal challenges and stresses not to mention tension around politics and social issues.  It is understandable that a lot of people are finding it difficult to be kind and patient.  

Are you sleeping?

It may sound overly simplistic but when you are not sleeping well, your stress goes up and your patience goes down.  If you’re having trouble sleeping as many people are, work on your sleep hygiene.  Set a wake time and bed time and be as consistent as you can.  No screens for an hour before bed time, allow yourself to wind down with a book (an actual book not an e-reader), journal, draw, do some yoga poses, etc.  Do something that will help your body and brain slow down.  It helps to signal to your brain that it’s time to call it quits.  

If you struggle with waking up at night, do your best to resist the urge to get online.  Read, journal or play a soothing bedtime meditation you have already downloaded to your phone so that you don’t have to search it out and further wake your brain up.

Are you moving your body?

Again, it sounds simple but being cooped up all day and night can leave your body with extra energy it needs to burn one way or another.  Since you don’t want it to be when you yelling at hour boss telling him/her exactly what you think of them, maybe think about some yoga in the living room in the morning or a long walk at lunch time.  It doesn’t have to be high impact and you do not need to buy equipment, just move.  On the rare days it is warm enough here, I will rearrange things so that I can go outside and walk just to get a little air.  Let the anger come up as you walk and see if you can metabolize some of it. 

Are you lonely?

While it is possible to connect from a distance, it does feel different.  I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve heard, “I should be used to it by now.”  WHY?!  We weren’t built to live this way!  We are pack animals and it causes us a great deal of stress to be cut out of the pack. 

I think there is a real fatigue with video chatting.  There are games you can play virtually (like jackbox.tv) which can take the pressure off of talking and help it feel more like you are just spending time with people. 

If you haven’t already, consider expanding you pod a little and having a small group who are following similar patterns to you around in real life.  

Honestly, even acknowledging that you feel lonely and disconnected from others is a big step.  Please know that if you feel this way you are in the majority!!

It’s not fair.

Nope, it’s not fair.  Nothing about it is fair.  People getting sick isn’t fair, isolation isn’t fair, people losing loved one, their jobs and homes isn’t fair.  None of it is fair.  You’re right.  There I said it.  You’re right, it’s not fair and it sucks.  

What do you need?

This answer is different for each of us and frankly it could change day to day or week to week. Maybe it's a day or two off, maybe it's changing your hobbies a little, maybe is a different challenge at work, maybe it's a change of scenery. My challenge to you is to get curious about what you need and instead of telling yourself why you just can't have, try to get it! I know it isn't easily done but if the alternative is walking around angry and unhappy and making other people unhappy with you, what might you lose/risk if you don't take care of yourself and get what you need?

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!

In 2020, most of us spent more time on screens than ever before.  For many of us it was the only thing connecting us to our friends and family during a period of global isolation.  But what else the internet come to represent for us?  Entertainment, education, politics, work, distractions, solutions, etc.  

Learning?

Part of the allure around the internet is the concept of infinite knowledge and the ability to learn just about anything.  While I think that there is a great deal of learning that can come from the internet, there are two problems; misinformation and experience.

For every website with facts and data, there is another with incomplete or even false data.  And it is becoming increasingly difficult to be able to decipher between the two.  Especially if you are a novice in an area, it is hard to know where to look to get accurate information.  Don’t even get me started on the “news.”

I love to read, it’s one of my favorite things and I prefer actual books to reading or listening to books on a device – more on that later.  But there is no substitute to experience.  Meditating for example.  If you read a book on mindfulness and meditation but you never practice or experience it, can you actually feel that you understand the concepts and gained the benefits that only come from actually having experienced something?  

Misplaced focus.

What if religion is no longer the “opium of the people” what if the internet is?  The idea of being in “constant contact” and accessible at all times has us pulling our hair out.  We want to feel wanted and needed and appreciated but that is not how it actually plays out.  We tell ourselves that by being available to anyone at any time we are adding value.  But it comes at the expense of our brains, mental and physical health and our personal relationships.  

I know someone who has to post in her office group chat when she leaves her desk to use the restroom and there is an unspoken (and unrewarded) competition around who starts the work first and who stays longest.  On what planet is that healthy?

When couples are checking their work email during family and on dates, what are they protecting?  Their income?  Their standing with their collogues?  

I always thought this ad was dumb... But it makes me laugh now.

Addiction?

Each time we get a notification for a call (though those happen less and less), a text, an email or some notification, we get a small dump of dopamine.  People who create apps and devices know that and have designed these them to get us and keep us addicted one little dopamine hit at a time.  And we are addicted!

We have allowed our worlds and time to be filled with noise because the noise in our ears helps us avoid the noise in our minds.  Part of the reason I like to read books is I can turn my phone, computer and TV off and immerse myself in a world of ideas that I have chosen.  The need to have constant noise comes from anxiety.  And our devices and our addictions to them enhance this anxiety.  

I’m in no way suggesting that you call you internet provider and cancel your internet, that isn’t really possible anymore.  But you can start with five minutes a day and just let it be quiet while you do chores or walk the dog or make dinner.  Little by little, you will loosen the grip your devices have on you.

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!

The truth is, we will be learning about what the long term impacts the internet has on the developing brain for a long time.  But we already know a few things about how the use of the internet impacts well-being and socialization.  We know that for adults as well as children, the internet is just as much a tool as it is a hazard.  As much as it can be a window to a new world, it can be an opening for predators and misinformation.  

Pressures of Perfectionism. 

Social media is about crafting an image.  Lots of teens and young adults will have multiple social media accounts attempting to portray their personality, lifestyle and sense of self in different ways.  While this is in many ways the same way their parents would try different clothes and friend groups growing up, an important difference is how impersonal and inauthentic it is.  When developing a sense of self, it is important to base how you feel about your choices, interactions, appearance, etc. on an actual human experience instead of by the number of “likes” you receive.  When someone looks to social media to decide who or what they are, they end up living to get attention or approval from others and don’t get the opportunity to feel sincere acceptance and understanding.

Not to mention the impact of cancel culture!  Cancel culture is breeding and idea for the necessity of perfection in order to be accepted.  I’m in no way suggesting that we should allow people to “experiment” with racism and homophobia but teens and young adults have started living in fear of sharing their point of view or speaking up when they do not agree with what they believe to be mainstream belief because they have seen so many people be eviscerated online.  

Being a faker

All of this encourages kids as well as adults to not be their authentic selves.  We don’t share our actual days on social media!  We share what we want others to see, the GOOD days or moments.  We often also don’t share what we actually think for fear of being rejected, shut down or attacked.  I almost laughed out loud the other day when I saw a Facebook ad about connecting people. Connecting people is certainly possible on social media but for the most part, social media has become a rabbit hole of comparison to fall down and a place where people who want to sell something can reach an almost endless audience.  

HUH?  What was that?  Why did I walk in here?

Our brains were not created for the amount of stimulation we get with all of our devices.  Even when we sleep, our brains are taking in stimulation, our conscious mind cannot possibly notice and register all stimulation at all times so it has to prioritize the stimuli and what gets noticed or registered consciously.  When we have multiple screens going at all times, we are in a perpetual state of distraction.  

Sometimes even one screen is too much.  Yesterday while I was on the phone with a family member, I received several text messages and updates/banners alerting me to other things that wanted my attention, all while using only one device.  Even if you manage to not read the messages or check the alerts it steals you attention away.  

Each time you get a notification or banner or update, you get a small hit of dopamine and your brain craves more and more because they are built to seek pleasure.  So, before we know it we are totally addicted to our little hits of dopamine.  Kids are certainly not immune to benefits of these little hits and they don’t have the ability to focus that adults do so they impacted even more.  

Reduced memory capability 

In a perpetual state of distraction, you brain is unable to consolidate memory.  Which basically means it prohibits learning and long-term memory.    When you are constantly distracted, there is nearly impossible to convert short-term memory to long-term memory.  

In order to create long-term memory and learning kids and adults need quiet undistracted, unstimulated time.  Yes, that includes a show they have already seen before.  

Doesn’t teach you to think for yourself

Nothing about the internet teaches you the skill for learning for yourself.  You can beautifully learn about other parts of the world or lives you haven’t encountered but taking it all in and deciding what it means to you and how you wish to live in the world comes from quiet (no screen) reflection.  

Kids can’t learn to think for themselves via a screen and they don’t know what we do not teach them.  If you are struggling with screen free time, then it is safe to assume your kids are too and you can be confident that it will impact the way the learn, interact with others and see themselves. 

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!

It seems as though there has been a great deal of conversation around avoidance behaviors and dissociation lately and their terrible impacts.  

Dissociation and Avoidance... Friend or Foe?

First, everyone dissociates and avoids.  When a person makes the same trip over and over again (for example the drive from work to home), their brain makes a mental map.  Their brain knows the approximate speed, when to change lanes, when to exit and the trip almost becomes automated leaving the brain free to do any number of things (make a grocery list, plan a fight you won’t have with your boss, etc.).  That’s is a type of dissociation. 

Similarly, a person cannot be 100% present, 100% of the time.  There are times when the brain, body and feelings need a rest.  When the body is injured it will often release adrenaline, allowing a person to avoid pain until they have located safety.  Denial is the first stage of grief, which allows a person the bandwidth to do things like plan a funeral before the reality takes hold.

Dissociation and avoidance exist on spectrum much like most things.  They are not problems in and of themselves.  When they keep a person from achieving goals or living the kind of life they want to live, avoidance and dissociation become problems.

The Internet Effect

It wasn’t that long ago when sleep specialists, physicians, wellness experts, etc. were all begging people to save their lives by getting off of their screens.  (Remember when we were told sitting is the new smoking?).  Most people this year have been forced to stare at screens all day for work, social contact and down time. (I know what you're thinking, "DUH," just bare with me.)

At the risk of beating a dead horse, social media is bad for your mental health as well as your cognitive health.  There is plenty of research to support that social media in particular increases anxiety and depression.  

Dr Joseph Firth, Senior Research Fellow at NICM Health Research Institute

We have long been told that the internet puts all known information at your fingertips.  Well, good news and bad news… it is also negatively impacting cognitive function, memory and social abilities.  Dr. Firth in a study published last year has found that the structures of the brain can be modified by over use of the internet.  

I am painfully aware of the irony of writing a blog post about why I think you should get off of the internet and NOW. So if you are no longer reading, I do not blame you.

The reason I thought it was important to talk about avoidance and dissociation at the same time as internet use is because there are a lot of competing voices and information about just about everything right now. Here are some things to keep in mind, even when COVID is over:

  • It's ok to space out sometimes, it does not mean your brain is broken
  • It's ok to rest and do things that are not "productive"
  • Try to explore down time and rest that does not involve a screen
  • Remember that the internet has information, but it may not have the answers you are searching for

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!

I can’t remember exactly what drew me to this series.  Maybe is it because I really like London and usually really enjoy period movies.  And initially, I couldn’t figure out what made me keep watching.  There is a simplicity and honesty to it that does not exist in most of the stuff that is available these days.

On Netflix

There are no "real-life" fairytales 

In episode after episode, they show the balance of real-life. They do not romantize how difficult life can be. There are wonderful parts that deserve celebration. There are scary parts and painful parts. Over and over again the show demonstrates people living not as they want to be or aspire to be but as they are. It's not glamorous but it is so relatable and honest.

People taking responsibility

It feels pretty rare to have people mess up then own their part in their mistakes. Over and over again in, "Call the Midwife" the characters make mistakes then acknowledge them and apologize. How often does that happen?! Especially these days? There is something hopeful and lovely about watching people interact with honesty and integrity, even when they are uncomfortable.

Community

Not only do people take responsibly for their behavior, the characters are patient, kind and forgive each other. It is almost unfamiliar to see these days. There is a real sense of care and community. They all sincerely care about one another and go out of their way to be caring, thoughtful and kind. I can't help but wonder how different our experiences of 2020 could have been if we had each treated each other like a valued neighbor that we cared about.

Radical acceptance

Everyone is welcome. Rich, poor, people of color, people of different faiths, people who are loud and annoying, people who are quiet and shy. The characters may not understand or feel as though they personally relate but they strive to make all welcome.

Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps the show does display a fairytale. A utopia in which people are not perfect and do not lead perfect lives but they are kind to each other in a way that is foreign today. Watching it simultaneously caused me both hope and sadness. Hope because if someone could dream this up and bring it to life on my TV, maybe it could come true. Sadness because I can't imagine us getting too much further from this in real life.

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!

Though I have been trying to be mindful of watching a lot less TV and staring at screens for any longer than necessary, there have been a couple of things in the last few months that I just felt drawn to watch.  I don’t remember how I came upon “The Vow” but it definitely caught my attention right away.  

People talk about cults with a hint of ‘I would never get caught up in something like that.”  But most of us have never really been faced with having to choose.  “The Vow” in its nine episodes, did a great job of walking the viewer through how and why a group of people got sucked into NXIVM led by Keith Raniere.

It seemed to me that the two things each person who got swept up in the cult had in common was they were all seeking more meaningful connections with others and fulfillment within themselves.  Who doesn’t want that?!  To me, that is what most people are looking for when they really step back.  I couldn’t stop myself from taking some notes so here are my biggest takeaways from, “The Vow.”

Ignore your gut at your own peril

Anytime someone tells you that your instincts are to be ignored should be looked at the with the side eye if not completely run away from.  The truth is that gut instincts can be wrong, especially when there is a history of trauma.  But that it’s ok to allow the instinct to come up and compare it to the facts at hand.  Part of grooming for an abuser, is when they tell you that your instincts are all wrong.  “I didn’t lie to you, you just don’t understand.”  Your instincts are there to protect you, there is no harm is slowing down to check in with them.

Break you down to build you up?

Beware of those that tell you that you must feel less than in order to improve.  I know of no research, AT ALL, that indicates that that is true or effective.  What is true is that when you start to address things you have avoided (i.e. trauma, addiction, conflict, etc.) is that you can get angry or sad before you start to get to real and lasting solutions.  But while it may be exhausting to unearth painful things, it is common to feel more hope or catharsis or an unburdening when you do it.  Not less than and judged.  People who want to tell you that you are not enough as you are are not to be relied upon.

Us and them

When you are told that you cannot or should not tell people who are not in the group because, ‘they just won’t understand’ be leery.  Think about how you would explain secrets to a child... If it is something that scares or hurts you, then you should be allow to talk about it with people that you trust. There are times we keep things to ourselves because it is no one's business but that isn't the same as being told you cannot or should not tell anyone else. Secrets make us sick and shame lives in the dark. If what you are going through is healthy and normal, that telling people, shouldn't be a risk.

"You must be really trusting."

There was a scene in which one of the former cult members was sharing with a small group of people that she had recently left a cutleries and that was what one women said to her, "You must be really trusting." I don't think the women meant to be rude or disrespectful but there was definitely a tone of 'that couldn't ever be me.' I immediately thought it could be anyone. If you meet the wrong person at the wrong time, it could be you. It is "normal"/right/healthy to want to find people we can be safe and vulnerable with and that is what makes us vulnerable to predators. When you open up, you risk letting the bad in with the good.

Seek and ye shall find

To be human is to search. Some people want to make more money, others want to be in better health, be better parents or less anxious, etc. There is a sense that there are people who have figured it all out and if we just got our shit together than we would have it figured out too. So people drink or use drugs or work endless hours to try and get closer to the idea that things can be all good. There is a fantasy that things can be perfect if we just try hard enough. But that just isn't the case. Life exists in a balance where we have to take the good with the bad. When we put down the booze/drugs and turn off the TV/phone/computer, we are left with our own thoughts. Ewww!! The truth is, there are always trade offs and there is no perfection. If perfection existed then there would be a diet where you could eat doughnuts daily and have a six pack. Anyone who tells you anything other than life is about balance and that perfection is achievable is trying to take your money.

I need a break

If what you are doing is truly good for you, then taking a break should be no problem. Not to say there are never consequences but it shouldn't be a problem. For example, if you workout four times a week consistently for a year and decide to take a two week break while on vacation, that should not be a problem. There will be consequences (that whole balance thing) and you will be soar when you get back. But anything that is truly good for you should be ok to take a breather from without emotional punishment.

Self harm

In the cult, there were women who were pressured to get branded. Later attorneys would argue that the women were consenting adults who chose to mark themselves. I knew a woman in college who got matching tattoos with a couple of friends (she later regretted that choice). I'm sure we have all seen service members who have gotten tattoos to reflect the branch of the military they served. There are lots of examples in which people will chose to permanently mark their bodies to signify that they are members of a group and there is nothing wrong with that. There is a difference however, when the decision is made for you. If, when, where, how with whom to chose to mark your body should all be made by you and no one else.

"Collateral" vs. the 5th step

In the series women were told that to be given sensitive information, they had to give "collateral." Collateral was basically stuff that could be used for blackmail if the woman were to ever break the rules. While watching, I initially didn't understand the difference between the 5th step off AA:

Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

The difference is AA is confidential. Even if you quit, even if you relapse, whatever you "admit" is kept private. Where in this cult, whatever photos or information were provided were intended as a threat; you talk, we expose. VERY important difference.

Therapeutic abuses

One thing that made me really angry watching it was that they did use some therapeutic techniques but they used them to hurt and manipulate. There is a reason that therapists, counselors and social workers have to be licensed and regulated. There are tools that can be used to harm people. In one of the episodes, one woman said it was like five years of therapy in a week. It's not healthy to do everything at warp speed.

Pathologizing emotions

There is nothing wrong with feelings. It is normal to be happy, sad, angry, fearful and anxious. When having some of those feelings at a high rate negatively impacts how you live your life, it may be time to address them. But feelings are just data and having them does not make you sick or broken or weird.

Connections are tricky

As mentioned earlier, when we open up we can let the bad in with the good. There is plenty of irony in the fact that healing from a painful relationship often requires being nurtured in a different relationship. But there it is, nothing heals a broken heart like love from someone else. Whether it is recovering from the death of a loved one by seeking support in friends in family or realizing that you deserve better when a new partner treats you well. We are built to live in tribes/packs. Connections are tricky but they are also where the magic usually happen.

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!

When I sat down to write this, I couldn't help but think of the Boyz II Men song...

Goodbyes are difficult but they are important. We've all said goodbye to people, places and things. Goodbyes can be uncomfortable and I feel as though people are starting to avoid anything and everything that makes them uncomfortable so I wanted to take a little time to remind us all why saying goodbye is good for us.

Mark The End

I love to read, especially fiction. There is something both satisfying and sad about seeing the two little words, "The End" when I have finished a book. There is happiness and a sense of accomplishment getting to the end but then I'm sad because I have to say goodbye to the characters I've met. Hopefully, the story has left me with something I can reflect on (like "All the Light We Cannot See" - that book gave me a lot to think about). But there have also been books that I may have thought were missing pages if those two important words hadn't been there.

Saying goodbye to a person place or thing, helps us mark the end. Sometimes we are glad to mark the end of things like graduations. Other times, it is a little more painful but may be no less important. Funerals, for example, are a way to mark the end of someone's life.

The End is NOT Closure

I don't agree with the idea of closure. I think it is a lovely fantasy!! For me, closure is when something is wrapped up in a neat little bow. Like, "The End" at the end of a book that leaves the characters living happily ever after. But that doesn't happen in real life.... The happy couple rides off into the sunset but then their flight gets delayed and he gets food poisoning on the flight and her bag gets lost by the airline and... real life happens then keeps happening.

For me, the end and saying goodbye has nothing to do with closure and everything to do with marking the time and honoring the experience - good or bad. Much like after a funeral, you may still be hurting and missing the deceased loved one. By attending the funeral you have marked the time and in a purposeful and mindful way, you have honored that your relationship with that person has transitioned from a relationship in real time to one of memory.

Yes, Places and Things Too

I lived in my last apartment for about 8.5 years. I was not in love when I moved in and I certainly did not love it when I moved out. But when I was packing up the last of my things I thought about the time spent there. A LOT about my life changed while I lived in that apartment. For a while I sat in the empty space and thought about the experiences I had had in those walls. That was my way of saying goodbye. I don't miss it at all but it was important to me that be grateful what I was taking with me. Whether it is a home, an office, a city that you are leaving, don't forget to say goodbye to the place.

I'm certainly not suggesting that each and every item you discard or let go of should be said goodbye to but certainly important items. It is easy to forget that we can imbue items with meaning and feelings. Allow yourself to discard items with intentionality and respect the time they have served you.

It's For You

Saying goodbye is for you, not just the other person. Ghosting isn't just bad for the person who was ghosted, it is also bad for the person who did the ghosting. When you hide from or avoid your own feelings because they make you uncomfortable, you do yourself a disservice. It is important to remember that the feelings may be uncomfortable at first but they will pass. When you deal with your feelings, instead of haunting you later, they can serve you now.

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!

There are A LOT of reasons to end therapy; you don’t click with your therapist, you have to move out of state, you feel as though you’ve met your goals, etc.  In a year when we have all had to say a lot of good-byes, I thought now was as good a time as any to explain the necessity for what therapists call a termination session.

I don’t know about you but when I hear “termination,” I think “fired,” or some other word that seems heavy and hard.  But that isn’t what the termination session is about.  It’s about thoughtfully and intentionally saying goodbye and ending something that has been important to you.  

When therapy is working you have a place to unload, a person you feel you can trust to keep your secrets without judgment and someone who will stand beside as you try to become your most authentic self.  The relationship is important and it is important to end it with the respect and deference it deserves.  

Therapy supports that psychological needs necessary for human growth.

More than that, it is a time for you to look back on the work you’ve done and celebrate the ways in which you have grown, the things you have accomplished in that time and how you plan to build on that growth with intention.

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!

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