Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Supervisor

April 23, 2020

Partnership in Quarantine

For a lot of couples, being in quarantine has turned up the intensity of stress and even conflict.  In fact, I think most couples have likely struggled in all the stress.  Financial concerns are huge, for some having to negotiate the kids being home all the time, having to learn new ways to blow off steam, losing access to some of your hobbies and living and working in what may feel like ever shrinking quarters, not to mention navigating health concerns with the need for connection with friends, family and the outside world.  It can be difficult to manage all of it, especially when you’re in it so today let’s look at some options for getting through it together.  

Finding something to say…

One of my clients laughed the other day when recounting some of their relationship stress.  At the end of each day before quarantine, they used to enjoy sharing their days.  Now, since they share a one-bedroom apartment and they are both working from home, they know what happened all day.  This couple found that finding articles online to discuss is helpful as well as future planning and dreaming.  

Take a break…

Though it may be difficult to get out of the house, if you can even go for a walk or a drive in your car that is helpful.  Go see something outside of the four walls you are working, living and sharing together.  Do this together as well as alone.

Know when to zip it…

When you feel yourself going from frustration to anger, stop.  Take a break from the conversation and agree to come back to the conversation at a specific time.  The only thing worse than being trapped at home is being trapped at home with someone who is seething with you because you said something you didn’t mean. 

Find the good…

I can’t overstate the importance of finding something to look forward to.  Maybe it’s a phone/virtual date with friends or a driveway picnic with family or a class you decided to take online but find something.  It will help keep you sane and take pressure off of your relationship.  

Partner isn’t the enemy…

When things are as stressful as they have been, it is really easy to start to bicker with your partner.  The minute you start to see your partner as the enemy, life at home will start to become a battle.  Even if it requires daily effort, make sure that you make a mental inventory of what your partner does right as well as what and how they add good things to your life.  Your partner is not the enemy, stress is.   

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!