This time of year, I often spend some time with myself and with clients thinking about what the wins were for the year. What were your proud of? What did you do that you want to repeat? What happened that you would like to let go of?
Most of the time there is a pretty healthy mix of both individual successes and stumbles but also there are typically a lot of ups and downs in connections with others. “I pushed through a rough spot in my marriage.” Or “I wasn’t the parent I wanted to be this year because I was distracted with work.”
Dig it out...
It can be really powerful and meaningful to really sit down with and journal and/or a calendar and really get into these questions. It is really easy for us to get lost in what is currently distracting us to the next ten things we are focused on getting done and forget about the things that happened earlier in the year.
It is also easy to discount or down play the small things you did to set yourself up for what could turn into the big stuff. Maybe you spent the time in 2018 to lay the ground work for possibilities in 2019.
Once upon a time...
We all tell ourselves stories. Economist Amos Tversky and psychologist Daniel Kahneman proved that adults override rational thought with their subconscious. (Yes, for real they won a Nobel Prize for it, it’s not just you.) Our stories are often closely held and we are often so convinced that they are facts, we don’t even spend the time/energy to let them go.
For some of us, our stories were given to us by our parents. For others, we have told ourselves these stories to make sense of hurt and pain we have experienced. It doesn’t really matter how or why you picked the story up, what matters is… Are you ready to let it go?
What is a story about yourself, that you are willing to put the work in to let go of and not drag with you into the new year? Write it down. Tell someone. Think about how this story shows up in your life. How does it hold you back? Then make a plan for how to deal with it when it tries to rear it’s ugly head. Because it will try to worm it’s way back into your head and your heart, know how you want to love yourself better and fight it off again.
As always, I’m here. If you are ready to live your best life, call me and let’s get started!