Have you ever been upset and as you talked it out, your realized that what you thought had been bothering you really wasn’t the problem?
In my experience, communication falls apart at one of two points.
- Being unable to clearly formulate your own thoughts and feelings within yourself
- Being unable to effectively communicate those thoughts and feelings for another person
Today, I want to focus on the first part of that. Being able to clearly formulate your own thoughts and feelings. This may sound like the easiest thing in the world but I assure it’s not.
How often do you really have quiet? No work pressing on you, no one texting, calling or emailing you waiting for you to respond? How often do you sit and reflect with no TV, no radio, no phone sitting right next to you, nothing to distract yourself with? For most of us, the answer is pretty rarely.
Have you ever caught yourself holding your breath? You may not even know why but you catch yourself not breathing and you have to remind your body to start breathing in and out. It seems like the most basic thing yet while you were hyper focused on something else, you stopped breathing. It is equally easy, to get so over stimulated and so focused on other things (work, kids, traffic, social media, the news, etc) that we can’t hear our own thoughts and feelings.
There are a few different ways to turn down the noise and hear yourself better. A good place to start is to turn your phone off or at least put it in another room for a little while. Turn off the TV/radio and take some time for yourself. For some, meditation is a place to start. Journaling and physical activity are good as well. Even going for a walk alone can help you clear out the clutter and just hear yourself.
The other day, someone told me that a long car ride can do that for him. GREAT! Find what works for you. The key is to not wait until there is a problem. Do what works for you regularly… daily is optimal but if you can do whatever your thing is 4-5 times a week, you will be far ahead of most people.
So what works for you? When is the last time you tried? Can you sit down and make a plan for the week? What will you commit to doing for yourself every day for the next week to clear your head? I’m asking for ten minutes a day, that’s all. Remember, that in order to communicate what you need and want to others, this step is critical and cannot be skipped.
As always, I’m here. If you are ready to live your best life, call me and let’s get started!