Recently, several clients have been asking for help to increase their self-esteem so I thought this might be a good time to have a blog about it.

First, it’s important to understand that this will not happen over night and a lot of these things will need to be done over and over again before you start to notice their impact.

Second, one size doesn’t fit all. Experiment and add subtract things as necessary.

Let’s get started!!

  1. Negative self-talk. We’ve all done it, particularly in times of stress. Picking on yourself is super counter productive. (I know, I started with the hardest one.) In the beginning, all I want you to do is notice. Notice how unkind/mean/unproductive your self-talk has become. My guess is you would NEVER speak to anyone else that way (not event that super annoying person in the office) so why is it ok to speak to yourself that way?! Again, the goal with this one is just to notice it, not admonish yourself.
  2. Social media. If you have it on your phone and check it frequently (especially if you have more than one account), I challenge you to spend 30 days without it. Think of it as a cleanse. You don’t have delete any accounts and you can even post that you will be taking a short break. The goal here is to spend less time comparing. Let’s be honest, we all look at other people’s lives, photos and posts and compare our lives to theirs. Sometimes we decide we’re doing better sometimes we don’t, either way it’s not super productive.
  3. Most of my clients know I’m a HUGE fan of mindfulness exercises. Try meditation. Don’t do it once and then come back and tell me it didn’t work. DUH!!! There are countless free apps, websites, YouTube videos, etc. that you could try. I really like Headspace, it’s an app that you can try for free for 10 days. I like it because I don’t like music playing while I meditate usually I end up finding it distracting. (By the way, they don’t know that I plug them so I don’t get anything for endorsing them.)
  4. Try something new. I love this technique for three reasons. First, our brains crave novelty. Neurological stimulation gives us an endorphin boost. Second, “consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.” Tomorrow isn’t promised, why tell yourself you will try something new later?! What if later never comes? I know its sort of a dark thought but there is never really a perfect time for most special and challenging things we do in life. And finally, for a lot of us when we are really in a self-esteem hole, we have forgotten what lights us up and makes us special. Maybe it’s time to rediscover what you enjoy. I like to challenge my clients to try one new thing a week.
  5. This is probably the other really difficult one and it definitely will not be an over night thing. The truth is, no one is perfect so you have flaws. It is also true that no one is all bad either. (I know that in your brain you are making a list of names that are exceptions. FINE! But you are not them!!) That’s a big part of acceptance knowing that there is no such thing as perfect but also that you aren’t all bad. So what is it that is good about you? What are the parts of yourself that you could learn to love? Okay, okay, learn to like?

Strange businessman

This is in no way a checklist; it’s just a place to start. No one can do this for you, so you have to decide that you are willing to really work to make some thoughtful choices that could bring some positivity your way. I dare you to really try this for a month and see what happens.  🙂


Wouldn’t it be great to be smarter, reduce your stress and look better naked?! Two words….

Mindfulness Meditation


In the last few years researchers like the joint venture between Bender Institute of Neuroimaging in Germany and the University of Massachusetts Medical School  and the US Dept. of Health and Human Services  have been looking at the positive impacts of mindfulness meditation.


Before I explain all the benefits… What is mindfulness meditation?


Mindful meditation is simply quietly and paying attention to what you are experiencing. Taking a few minutes to quiet the chatter in your mind in order to pay attention to what is happening in your mind.


There are A LOT of different ways to get started with mindful meditation. There are free videos on YouTube, there are websites like, apps free and paid and all good ways to get started.


Initially, the research was intriguing to me but I tried a couple of different meditations from Deepak Chopra and I just couldn’t get into it and I was convinced that it just didn’t work on me. But since I’m curious (and stubborn), I wanted to try again. When I stumbled on a training for therapists on meditation, it sounded perfect. It was a really good and I learned about posture and breathing, ect. All of which is important but the single biggest take away was patience.


Patience with myself and my brain.


The trainer made an analogy between the brain and a 2 year old. He said that 2 year olds like to run around, play and make noise and that our brains are just like that. He also reminded us that when you yell and scream at a 2 year old, that doesn’t make them be quiet and still and that doesn’t work on your brain either. Basically, when not if you get distracted, you just redirect yourself back to the focus you are looking for (which is typically your breath). Yes, it’s that simple.


Sound easy enough?!

It takes a little practice and there will be days when your 2 year old will not cooperate. But trust me, if I can do it so can you.

Strange businessman

What are the benefits?


  • Meditation has been shown in study after study to reduce stress. Stress causes all sorts of physical and mental health problems, plus it’s… stressful.
  • Researchers have also found that meditation increases learning and improves memory. Who doesn’t need to remember more stuff?
  • It has been shown to help people deal more effectively with their feelings. In my work I have learned that most people have trouble naming their feelings. Being able to meditate and can help you not just name your feelings but also navigate them so that they don’t overwhelm you.
  • It makes your more compassionate and nicer. As the bumper sticker says, “Mean People Suck.” We could all stand to be a little nicer to those around us.
  • Want better sleep? Mindfulness meditation has been shown to improve the sleep of people who practice.   I don’t know about you but when I have a good night’s sleep, everything feels more doable.
  • Mindfulness mediation has also been shown to help people achieve their fitness goals.  Look better naked.  (I know you thought I would get to it.)  🙂
  • I could keep going but I think you get the point.


Get started!

There are no side effects, no risks and it is FREE!!  The only thing it will cost you is 5 - 15 minutes a day.  Your health, well-being and the people around you will be better off if you give this a real try.

It is with a mix of excitement and sadness that today, just one month shy of my 4 year anniversary, I say goodbye to the office that started it all and hello a new office.  I'm so grateful to have had the support and community that I have experienced here and I look forward to the new home we will create in our new space!

We are making the very short move from the intersection of Capital of TX Hwy and Westbank Drive to the opposite end of Westank Dr where it meets Bee Cave.  The address: 3701 Bee Caves Rd, Suite 103, Austin, TX 78746.  I'll see you there!!

[google_map_easy id="2"]

I don’t know about you but I usually feel like if I don’t do something myself, it probably won’t get done. About a lot of stuff that might be true. Work/school, keeping up with family and friends, making sure bills are paid time, etc. But where does it all end? The truth is, it doesn’t.

And money. How much is “enough” to be able to afford to take time off?

The fourth anniversary of my private practice is coming up in October. I tell you that not to brag but to humbly share, after all you are why I’m here and how I have been able to live this dream. At the end of last year (2015), I was tired, stressed, sad and disappointed. I was so grateful for my business but so run down by it, I wasn’t enjoying much. I promised myself that 2016 and all the years after would be different. Vowing to make self-care an actual priority, not just a theoretical one, I made a list of promises.


  • Take control of my scheduled. I had allowed my schedule to rule my life instead of the other way around. This is over, in February I found a groove that has been working and I plan to stick to it until it doesn’t.
  • Take three weeks off this year! This one was scary but I realized that is shamefully low as it is. (Next week I leave for my second week of the year and I could not be more excited.)
  • Read more fiction. This year I declared that I would read more fiction, just because it’s fun! And I have.
  • Take better care of my body by eating more healthy and moving around more. Cooking has become a much more regular and natural part of my life; I still have a lot of room for improvement in the gym…. Mostly I need to go more.


Why do you care about my goals?

I tell you about my personal battle with time off because I don’t think I’m alone in it at all!! I know that I represent the rule instead of the exception. We ALL deserve and NEED time off in order to be better at school/work, friends and family and whatever else we do that gets us out of bed each day.


If we aren’t giving our best to our lives, what is the point? If I can’t give my best at work, did I really help anyone? If I am phoning it in with my family, will they really feel like I love them and love being part of their lives?


I guess the real question becomes, can you afford NOT to take some time off? For me that answer is no and I hope you really think about your answer.

linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram