A really great place to start if you aren’t lovin’ you some YOU….  Ask yourself what it would look like from the outside if you did? How would you dress?  How would you eat?  What would your routine be like?

What it means to love yourself (or heck! Even like yourself) varies a little from person to person and even a bit within cultures.  But there are some good basics we can start with…

Food

You don’t have to be a vegan or be on some super difficult diet to eat healthily. Did you know that your stomach has a direct connection to your brain?  What you you put in your mouth, directly impacts… Everything!  Of course, it can impact your weight and overall health but a lot of people have no idea (or want to ignore) the huge influence it has on your emotions.  The way you feel about yourself, life in general, mental sharpness and clarity, etc.  

I certainly do not expect you to go from a junk food junkie to a health food genius overnight.  But what is one thing you are able to do for yourself today?  Here is a list to get you started:

• Vitamins?  (This one is a little tricky… a multivitamin is probably better than nothing but most of the vitamins available at the grocery store are a waste of money.  Do a little googling and/or talk to your doctor before you spending money.)

• How many times each day or days per week are you getting food from a drive through? Can you reduce that by one each week?

• Can you set yourself up so that you are making one of each day’s meals (breakfast, lunch or dinner)?  The more you make at home, the better you can ensure that it has some nutritional value and as an added bonus to you can typically spend less money.  

• Can you add another fruit and/or veggie to your diet each day? The more you can do, the better.

Move your body

Again, I’m not expecting you to go from couch potato to Olympic athlete.  What can you do to add movement in your day?  The building I used to office in had a dentist’s office.  I used to see the hygienists outside walking during their lunch breaks.  I loved that because I used to imagine that as soon as they got home from work, they would be busy with the house and the kids and the dogs and their partners, etc. but they made the time during their work day to take care of their bodies.  It doesn’t have to be huge, what is something small you can start doing today to better care for your body?

Sleep

Are you sleeping at all? Too much? 

First thing’s first, set a bed time.  One hour before your bedtime, shut down all electronics; put your phone away, turn off the TV, etc.  Wash your face, brush your teeth, put on your bed clothes.  Journal, draw, read and stay unplugged until lights out.  Sleep experts say that having a regular wind down routine the same bed time and wake time each day will help your body shut down and get the restful sleep you need.

Hygiene 

• Are you brushing your teeth two times a day?  What about once per day?  (The goal here is two minutes, twice a day.  Build on what you have.)

• When was the last time you saw a doctor?

• Are you showering daily?

Again, the goal here is not perfection build on what you are currently doing. Keep in mind that self care and self esteem on are destinations. It's like like you wake up one day and you are happy and healthy and no more effort will ever be required. Health and happiness require DAILY work. Yes, I said DAILY. And it cannot come from something outside of yourself. No other person, achievement or money will make you magically feel the way you want to feel. It's not magic but you can have it too.

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to live your best life, call me and let’s get started!

Our culture sets up a weird fine line we all have to walk. You should love and accept yourself the way you are but if you like yourself too much, you are a narcissist. Plus, while you are supposed to love and accept yourself as is, you are also supposed to be thinner, prettier, healthier, etc. Most people I come across say the most hateful things to themselves. For some, this eventually comes out as judgment towards others but for many there is a different set of rules for yourself that for everyone else...

• Do you wait to decide if you like something until someone else says they like it? (Only to tell yourself later that they were just being nice.)
• Do you feel inferior to others?
• Do you second guess all of your decisions/beliefs/thoughts/choices?Do you call yourself names and criticize yourself?

For better and for worse, you will not be able to have the things you want in life, until you learn to like and trust yourself. I know, easier said than done.

I have even had clients say to me that they could love themselves when they received love from someone else. The sad truth is that if we don't like and even love ourselves we make it difficult (not impossible) for other people to love us. And people are people, they are going to let us down. Even the good ones will stumble and hurt us from time to time so we cannot rely on someone else's love to make us whole.

What if you have no idea where to begin?

Start with the basics. Are you sleeping? Are you eating healthily? Are you showering and brushing your teeth?

Next, what do you enjoy and when are you doing it? What are your proud of and grateful for? These might be a more difficult questions to answer but they are just as important. Knowing what you can look forward to each day is really important. Knowing what you are grateful for can help you see the day and yourself a little differently.

This isn't easy....

If being happy were easy, everyone would do it and marketing companies would be at their wits end at how to sell you stuff you don't need. One of my favorite songs is "Easy" by Cowboy Mouth. The chorus;

Easy to bitch, easy to wine, easy to moan, easy to cry, easy to feel like there aint nothin' in you life.

Harder to work, harder to strive, hard to be glad to be alive.

But it's really worth it, if you give it a try.

I think that there is a fallacy that happiness will or should come easily. As though somehow if you accomplish a certain goal or have a certain relationship could allow you to completely transform inside. You know, like a Disney movie!

Like it or lump it. Happiness is a choice. One that requires daily work and effort. The sooner you stop looking for outside forces to help you feel better about yourself and get started on the work to do it yourself, the sooner you will actually get to taste some of that happiness.

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to live your best life, call me and let’s get started!