November 23, 2017

How Do You Express Gratitude?

First, happy THANKSgiving!! I’m grateful that you are here and I sincerely hope that today is filled with good things.

Earlier today I was listening to a podcast and they quoted Steve Covey as saying, “The greatest need of a human being is to be understood, validated and appreciated.”

When I think about all the things that bring people into my office and the things we spend time and money researching, most of it has to do with our connections (or lack

thereof) to other people.


The other day a friend called me upset because the guy she is seeing is often late, forgetful and doesn’t do what he says he will. It has left her with the sense that he really doesn’t value her or her time. And it all got me thinking about how we (or is some cases fail to) show gratitude in relationships.

What does gratitude or appreciation look like to you?

As the quote from Covey suggests, most people long to be heard. In a culture where everyone is rushed and pushing to get to the next thing, I often wonder how well we really hear each other.

What about doing?

Certainly, someone can show you that they appreicate you. However, they can only truly know how you feel apreciated when they have not listened to what it is that makes feel that way.

Chapman’s, “Five Love Languages” book illustrates very well that people will convey and receive love very differently.  One is no more ‘right’ than the others but it is entirely unique to each person.  For example, the friend I mentioned feels strongly that when someone is on time they are indicating that you matter and they respect and care about you.  That man she is dating may not relate time to care at all, he could relate it to eye contact or gift giving or something else all together.

So what about you?

What makes you feel appreciated?  What makes the people you care about feel appreciated?  It is dangerous to assume that what makes you feel cared about is also what makes them feel understood, validated and appreciated.  As today is the official start to the holidays, it seems like a wonderful time to seek out what makes the people you care about feel understood and to make efforts to demonstrate you care in a way that resonates with them.

As always, I am here and would love to know how this caring pursuit is going for you.

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