Most people associate goal setting with deciding to do something, then doing it.  In an over simplistic way… yes.  But the truth is most goals require the cooperation of others some times in small ways and others in big ways.  There are essentially two types of goals, individual goals/goals of self and relational goals and both require the […]

For lots of people, it easier to focus on other people’s needs or what other people are/are not doing instead of themselves.  Other people are rarely what is keeping a person from reaching their goals… it’s the person in the mirror.  Focusing on someone else’s needs/goals is a great way to avoid yourself.   Work How often have […]

What does a modern, egalitarian relationship look like?  Is it that each person contributes to the household expenses equally?  Is it that both partners take an equal share of household chores?  I think that is a wonderful ideal… But then, what if one partner makes significantly more?  What if one partner is laid off or wants to go back […]

Recently, I went on a vacation with a friend.  We were thoughtful about our safety, we took reasonable precautions, stuck together but also gave ourselves the opportunity to have a good time.  We spent the day on a catamaran, tried some local restaurants and enjoyed the beach.   Our final evening there, we were enjoying a dinner at […]

As kids, individuals take in information implicitly and explicitly.  Implicit information is implied or things we see and interpret.  Explicit learning comes from things read, taught in school or by adults or peers.  Messages are taken in all day; every day and these messages start inform each person about what the world is like.  Is the world a safe […]

As an individual learns and grows, they build and idea or an image of what and who their parents are and what they want from their parents.  At the same time, they are taking in implicit and explicit rules from their parents as well as the outside world. Implicit:  Implied, rather than expressly stated unquestioning or […]

So many couples point to their partner when they think about what isn’t working in their relationship.  While it may be necessary for your partner to make some changes, have you taken a good inventory of what you are bringing to the table that is influencing the relationship? Does someone have to be at fault? For […]

So many people both single and in relationships hold on to the idea that if they were just in a happier relationship, then their lives would be better, easier and more fulfilling.  But that simply is not the case.  It is not possible for your relationship alone (or your kids, or job, etc.) to meet all of […]

Anxiety, much like anger, can take different forms and appear differently in different situations.  For some anxiety looks likes like agitation with fidgeting and pacing but for others it can look more like they are withdrawn or checked out of things.  For so many people who thought that life would have returned to what they once felt […]