May 10, 2018

Shhh... Shame is Here

Shame lives in the shadows. It wants you to stay small, afraid and alone. One of the most powerful parts of shame is its ability to make you feel like the people whom you care for will reject you if they truly knew this about you.

It’s as though it is raining, really hard but only on you and everyone else is basking in the sunlight.

That’s all well and good but it certainly doesn’t make it easier to share does it?

We’ve all met someone who over shared and made the people around them uncomfortable.   So how do we know when and how to share?

  1. Who has earned the right to hear your story? Brene Brown suggests that we ask ourselves this question before we share something big, scary and difficult with someone. Has this person demonstrated their support for you in the past? If not, maybe reconsider them as an option.
  2. Why am keeping this a secret? How does holding on to this pain serve me?
  3. What would it mean to let this go? Would it be a big weight off your shoulders to stop carrying this around? If so… it’s probably time to talk to someone.
  4. How would life change if you stopped telling yourself that you are less than or not enough because of this shame? How many things has this shame kept you from enjoying, accomplishing, experiencing?
  5. When are you ready to love yourself ‘as is’? You aren’t perfect, but no one is or ever will be. The race to perfection has claimed a lot of causalities, are you ready to be another?

Shame is a common human experience but is also toxic. Just because it’s common doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea… like shopping at Walmart. You know you’re gunna save some money but you may also see a dumpster fire.

As always, I’m here!  What is something small that you can give up on today?  I dare you.  🙂

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