May 24, 2018

How to Get it Out

Shame lives in the shadows but not everyone deserves to know our pain. So how do we know when we are ready to share and with whom we can share our pain? And where do we even begin?

Start small.

Start by writing about whatever it is. Writing activates a different part of your brain and you may even uncover parts of the story you weren’t already aware of when it was stuck in your head.   You may even want to write it out a couple of times to help you organize your thoughts. This will make it easier to even think about how to tell another person.

Tell one person.

Just start with one, someone who has been kind and supportive in the past. Let them know that it is difficult for you to share this with them and chose a time when they are able to give you their full


Take care of yourself.

Take it easy on yourself afterwards, knowing that you just did something big and scary. Plan to be tired and need rest afterwards so plan something soothing like a healthy dinner and/or a hot bath so you have something to care for yourself with.

Write it out again.

Write about what is was like to share with someone else, the good parts and the bad. Write about the feelings you had about yourself, the origin of the pain and the person you shared it with. Did you pick the right person? Did you learn that they had experienced something similar and could relate?

After some time has passed… Is it time to tell someone else the story and repeat the process again? Remember that shining the light on your pain helps to drive out shame, especially if tell the right people.

As always, I’m here.  If you are ready to live your best life, call me and let’s get started!

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