For lots of people, it easier to focus on other people’s needs or what other people are/are not doing instead of themselves. Other people are rarely what is keeping a person from reaching their goals… it’s the person in the mirror. Focusing on someone else’s needs/goals is a great way to avoid yourself.
Work
How often have you skipped lunch or been too busy to work out or go to the dentist because you just can’t get away from work? Like it or not, your company would replace you if you were not performing the necessary tasks for the job. The irony is, you would be healthier and more productive if you took breaks, worked out regularly, addressed your care needs in a timely fashion. All those nagging care needs like, “I need to go to the dentist,” “I have no idea what camp to send the kids to this summer,” I need to get a card for Aunt Jane’s birthday,” all swirl around and distract you from the job at hand. In order to be a better employee, setting limits and boundaries on your time there is critical.
At the end of the work day feeling as though you didn’t get enough done at work and you neglected your personal needs and your family’s needs doesn’t make work better. Setting limits at work, taking time off will make you a better employee and get you the ability to start setting and meeting goals both at work and outside of work.
Friends
How often do you say yes to things you do not want to do? Yes, in every relationship there is some give an take and we show up for people when they need us. AND… If you are not getting your needs met, you won’t be able to show up for them. AND... if you say yes to everyone else, you will start to plan seeds of resentments and when they say no to you, you will not be able to understand why you are as upset as you are at the person you care about. Saying no, is not just being kind to yourself, it is being a good steward of the relationship.
Family
When is the last time you had the opportunity to miss your family? Even if it is only for a day, being away from our family can help us appreciate them. It is so easy to get overwhelmed with the noise of life; carting kids to and fro, making dinners, paying bills, doing laundry, etc. So easy, in fact, that we can forget that our family isn't a chore but a person or persons that we wouldn't want to live with out. The family we create is part of our identity and bring meaning to our lives. When we don't take space from them to care for ourselves we are in danger of putting them in the category of burden. Loving them well, means taking a step back and getting some air for yourself.
No. See?! It’s a complete sentence. It is not possible for one person to take everything on. A Sad truth is that when we say yes to more than we can actually do, we let people down. Letting people down impacts our trustworthiness, self-esteem and the way that others feel they can count on us.
As always, I’m here. If you are ready to work on having the life you want, call me and let’s get started!