Recent Posts

July 1, 2021
Is It Loneliness?

In the last year, most of us experienced loneliness in a way that we perhaps never had before.  For some, living alone was terrible and frightening, for others being quarantined with their children and partners brought to the surface cracks, strains and disconnections in those relationships.   So what is loneliness?  The UCLA Loneliness Scale looks at factors […]

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May 20, 2021
Goal Achieving As a Team Sport?

Most people associate goal setting with deciding to do something, then doing it.  In an over simplistic way… yes.  But the truth is most goals require the cooperation of others some times in small ways and others in big ways.  There are essentially two types of goals, individual goals/goals of self and relational goals and both require the […]

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May 6, 2021
What do boundaries have to do with setting goals?

For lots of people, it easier to focus on other people’s needs or what other people are/are not doing instead of themselves.  Other people are rarely what is keeping a person from reaching their goals… it’s the person in the mirror.  Focusing on someone else’s needs/goals is a great way to avoid yourself.   Work How often have […]

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April 22, 2021
Modern Commitment?

What does a modern, egalitarian relationship look like?  Is it that each person contributes to the household expenses equally?  Is it that both partners take an equal share of household chores?  I think that is a wonderful ideal… But then, what if one partner makes significantly more?  What if one partner is laid off or wants to go back […]

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April 8, 2021

Recently, I went on a vacation with a friend.  We were thoughtful about our safety, we took reasonable precautions, stuck together but also gave ourselves the opportunity to have a good time.  We spent the day on a catamaran, tried some local restaurants and enjoyed the beach.   Our final evening there, we were enjoying a dinner at […]

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March 25, 2021
What Have You Learned About Love?

As kids, individuals take in information implicitly and explicitly.  Implicit information is implied or things we see and interpret.  Explicit learning comes from things read, taught in school or by adults or peers.  Messages are taken in all day; every day and these messages start inform each person about what the world is like.  Is the world a safe […]

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March 11, 2021
Actual Parent = Ideal Parent?

As an individual learns and grows, they build and idea or an image of what and who their parents are and what they want from their parents.  At the same time, they are taking in implicit and explicit rules from their parents as well as the outside world. Implicit:  Implied, rather than expressly stated unquestioning or […]

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February 25, 2021
Are You Putting IN What You Want FROM Your Relationship?

So many couples point to their partner when they think about what isn’t working in their relationship.  While it may be necessary for your partner to make some changes, have you taken a good inventory of what you are bringing to the table that is influencing the relationship? Does someone have to be at fault? For […]

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February 12, 2021
Self care = Better love life?

So many people both single and in relationships hold on to the idea that if they were just in a happier relationship, then their lives would be better, easier and more fulfilling.  But that simply is not the case.  It is not possible for your relationship alone (or your kids, or job, etc.) to meet all of […]

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