Personally and professionally I meet a lot people who long to be perfect. It sounds great in theory. To drive for something that by definition, is “complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement.” Of course, the problem with that is that there is really no such thing as “beyond practical or theoretical improvement.” Because there is always a way to […]
I don’t know about you, but for as long as I can remember, I’ve held myself to a standard that has felt totally unattainable. Growing up in my family, I got a lot of messages about perfection. Though I was often told I didn’t need to be perfect, I was typically chided when I wasn’t. “You just need to try […]
I have been surprised and impressed with how many people decided, seemingly all that the same time, that Britney Spears should be released from her conservatorship. Years ago, when Britney was having public meltdowns people seemed to believe she needed help. What I don’t understand is what changed everyone’s mind? Was it as simple as hearing from her […]
In the last year, most of us experienced loneliness in a way that we perhaps never had before. For some, living alone was terrible and frightening, for others being quarantined with their children and partners brought to the surface cracks, strains and disconnections in those relationships. So what is loneliness? The UCLA Loneliness Scale looks at factors […]
Most people associate goal setting with deciding to do something, then doing it. In an over simplistic way… yes. But the truth is most goals require the cooperation of others some times in small ways and others in big ways. There are essentially two types of goals, individual goals/goals of self and relational goals and both require the […]
For lots of people, it easier to focus on other people’s needs or what other people are/are not doing instead of themselves. Other people are rarely what is keeping a person from reaching their goals… it’s the person in the mirror. Focusing on someone else’s needs/goals is a great way to avoid yourself. Work How often have […]
What does a modern, egalitarian relationship look like? Is it that each person contributes to the household expenses equally? Is it that both partners take an equal share of household chores? I think that is a wonderful ideal… But then, what if one partner makes significantly more? What if one partner is laid off or wants to go back […]
Recently, I went on a vacation with a friend. We were thoughtful about our safety, we took reasonable precautions, stuck together but also gave ourselves the opportunity to have a good time. We spent the day on a catamaran, tried some local restaurants and enjoyed the beach. Our final evening there, we were enjoying a dinner at […]
As kids, individuals take in information implicitly and explicitly. Implicit information is implied or things we see and interpret. Explicit learning comes from things read, taught in school or by adults or peers. Messages are taken in all day; every day and these messages start inform each person about what the world is like. Is the world a safe […]